I am a rape survivor and #MeToo pisses me off. 

In October of 2015, I was raped in sober fashion by one of my fellow classmates. There was no alcohol involved, it was sober and I remember every second of it. I neglected to report the incident because for a whole month, I questioned what it actually was. However, once I did report it to the University, nothing really came out of it, except a disappointing email from a close acquaintance of the opposing party.

 

I struggled to tell anyone about it. I was afraid to be judged and that people would look at me different. However, this past October, in 2017, I had my chance. Somewhere in between one hollywood star being accused of sexual misconduct and another well-known person admitting their misconduct, someone decided that something should be done about this issue. But why has it taken THIS long? Why is it 2017 and people are FINALLY giving a small voice to those who were hurt?

 

When I first heard about #MeToo, I thought it was great and don't get me wrong, I still do. But this campaign does nothing to help those without fame and fortune, it does not do anything to help those who are already struggling through the aftermath of it all. And I am sure that you could say, “Well, aren’t you glad that you know that you aren’t alone?,” or “People are going to jail because of it, like the olympian doctor, Larry Nassar.” But none of that is helping the large majority. I knew that I was not alone when I sat in group therapy with 13 other girls. I knew that I was not alone when my counselors, who specializes in sexual harassment, abuse, rape, etc, had a booked schedule from Monday to Friday.

 

As much as we would like to give a pat on the back to those who are struggling with their incident, many still look down on survivors. Daphne Merkin, of the New York Times, wrote an opinion piece of Jan. 5, 2018 about the #MeToo campaign. In Publicly, We Say #MeToo. Privately, We Have Misgivings, Merkin goes into how public expression is different than what are said in private. “Publicly, they say the right things, expression approval and joining in the chorus of voices that applaud the take down of maleficent characters… In private it is a different story. ‘Grow up, this is real life…’ ‘Whatever happened to flirting?’” And she is damned right. People like to be in on the action, they like to send their wishes via your Facebook wall when someone died, they would send you a thumbs up when you post something great, and will even probably wish you a happy birthday on your wall. But if you bring up to someone that you have been raped, they are almost offended. They do not know how to react and will often apologize or say “.. well are you sure it was rape?” As much as we would like to think people are not dicks when you tell them you are a survivor, we are only fooling ourselves.

 

Perhaps what makes this issue of #MeToo even worse is that people are using it to their gain. The New York Post published an article, Women Proposing to their boyfriends is the latests #MeToo culture shift. The opening line: From #MeToo to #IDo. I am sorry, but I am pretty sure that the only thing they have in common is the slight rhyme. When you read the article, it tries to tie into #MeToo by using the ‘empowerment’ factor. This campaign started to let women know that they are not alone. However, it seems that this campaign is slowly slipping through our hands. It is no longer about getting justice but now telling women to do whatever they want, like propose to their boyfriend, because they could not do any of it prior to #MeToo.

 

On February 4, 2018. Catharine MacKinnon of the New York Times wrote an opinion piece, #MeToo Has Done What the Law Could Not. Ms. MacKinnon goes into saying that this campaign has made a difference, this difference being that those in power are ‘now paying attention.’ Maybe she is correct, however in many of the cases are the following : there is either that there is proof, such as gymnast having signed a NDA saying that she would not disclose what happened to anyone, OR the perpetrator admitting their wrong doing. However, if you don’t have proof or the rapist isn't coming out and admitting it, then you are shit out of luck. Don’t believe me? Look at the case of Aziz Ansari. He was accused of this, denied it, and now nothing will happen for his victim. So, Catherine, what differences has the #MeToo campaign in terms of justice in these cases? Or are they ‘special circumstances’?

 

For me, I lack faith when it comes to the #MeToo campaign. Perhaps it is because I am bitter that the person who raped me will never serve his time for what he did or because that it seems to just be a quick obsession, that everyone wants to join in on. I don't feel that everyone needs to know that I was raped because it will not help my situation. It wont take the pain I feel away or put him in jail, it would only make me look like I am looking for pity.

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Works Cited:

MacKinnon, Catharine A. “#MeToo Has Done What the Law Could Not.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 4 Feb. 2018, www.nytimes.com/2018/02/04/opinion/metoo-law-legal-system.html.

 

Merkin, Daphne. “Publicly, We Say #MeToo. Privately, We Have Misgivings.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 5 Jan. 2018, www.nytimes.com/2018/01/05/opinion/golden-globes-metoo.html.

 

Dorn, Sara. “Women Proposing to Their Boyfriends Is the Latest #MeToo Culture Shift.” The New York Post, 10 Feb. 2018, nypost.com/2018/02/10/women-proposing-to-their-boyfriends-is-the-latest-metoo-culture-shift/.

 

Alone, You Are Not. “Me Too.” You Are Not Alone, metoomvmt.org/.